


dog days

by brightpyrite



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Fluff and Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-20 13:47:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13718982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightpyrite/pseuds/brightpyrite
Summary: According to the Midgardian calendar, Loki of Asgard was one thousand fifty-two years, sixty days, and approximately thirty-four seconds old when the stars began to align.





	dog days

**Author's Note:**

> soulmate au wherein one cannot lie to their s/o. enjoy!

According to the Midgardian calendar, Loki of Asgard was one thousand fifty-two years, sixty days, and approximately thirty-four seconds old when the stars began to align. His crude brother (only eight months older) had laughed obnoxiously loud when they both squinted up at the glinting cosmos.

"Oh no," said Loki at the time.

"Oh yes," said Thor with great gusto. He, on the contrary, was pleased with this turn of events, for it meant no more of his brother's petty tricks at every corner. "This is fantastic," Thor continued.

"Fantastic," repeated Loki, with less enthusiasm.

A day later, Heimdall the All-Seeing One only confirmed Loki's concerns with three simple words. "Magic is weakened."

For the span of this celestial alignment, Loki of Asgard was to not use his abilities and not risk tipping the realms out of balance. In fact, all Asgardians were discouraged from utilizing magic during this millennial passage of time. Neither Loki nor Thor were alive when the last one occurred, so all they knew came from Heimdall or the kingdom's archives. This is the purest state the universe can be in, said Heimdall, and to bend the blessed sequence would be a crime.

"Against _whom,_ " complained Loki.

"Against everyone who dreams of ending a chapter of their life and starting anew," said Heimdall, for this is their time. Loki despised the way Heimdall seemed to roll his eyes at him. Those abnormally luminescent eyes. When Loki was younger, the unwavering glow unnerved him greatly. 

Loki was a curious child, always very careful, precise in his actions. At the same time, it took Thor roughly one thousand years to learn that diving headfirst into a situation wasn't always the best choice. But Thor was who broke the ice between the god of mischief and the Gatekeeper, so perhaps he was of use after all. Years ago, after a long day of lectures, Thor once pulled Loki by the sleeve the entire way to the very edge of the Rainbow Bridge, and sat him at the Gatekeeper's feet.

"If you know everything," said the young child Thor once, "then what do you know of my brother's fate?"

"Thor," said Loki, "stop it." But he too was interested in what was to become of him. Will he be king one day?

But Heimdall just sweeps his gaze over the scrawny, precocious prince. "So much is in store for you, child," said Heimdall. It was only, give or take, a thousand years later in which Loki realized the severity and depth of these words.

"Is his path brighter than mine?" Thor had pressed. "Will he find his lover before me? Will he take the throne? I surely hope not!"

Loki slapped his brother on the arm. "Shut up!" said Loki, and turned his attention back to the Gatekeeper, but was stunned-- for there was cloudiness in the golden gleam of his eyes. His gut twisted in this palpable atmosphere. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," said Heimdall, "everything is occurring as it should."

"Please, won't you spare us a real answer for once?" whined Thor. "I'd like to know the sad fellow who will one day fall for our beloved Loki."

Loki flushed a bright red. "Why would you want to know that?" snapped Loki. "I am sorry for the fool fated to be with you, brother. They must have no eloquence as well."

To Loki's dismay, his older brother just shrugged. "I don't care. As long as we can drink grape juice together and wrestle, I will be happy. Anyway! What can you tell us about Loki's love?"

"Thor," said Heimdall, "your strength will one day surpass even the greatest beings in the Nine Realms. Be forewarned, I don't... recommend wrestling with your soulmate." Turning away from Thor's crestfallen countenance, Heimdall yet again locks eyes with the younger, reserved prince.

"You will be happy," said Heimdall.

Loki frowned. That wasn't answer he was looking for, but when he opened his mouth to protest, the ancient Gatekeeper just shook his head.

"Nothing I say will comfort you more greatly than that," he continued, and then there is no more.

Both children are silent after this comment. Finally, Thor is the one to break the quiet. "I'm alarmed simply by the fact you have a soulmate at all," said Thor.

Loki sighed. "Let's go back home. It's getting late."

Those were simpler times. These days, there is much that Loki doesn't wish to know about.

"Is the Bifrost open during the alignment?" asked Thor a few days after the news had spread all across Asgard. The All-Seeing One peered at him with incredulity and disapproval. Loki smiled at this, ready to witness Thor being told off.

"Only for now," said Heimdall, "but it will close." Loki paused at this ominous warning. The Gatekeeper is, once again, hiding something crucial, and yet he says not a word.

"Great," said Thor, "take us to Earth."

"Us?" echoed Loki.

"It will close," Heimdall said again, but turned the sword under the prince's order.

The air heated up all around them as the door peeled away to reveal the shimmering portal.

"Come, my brother," said the god of obnoxiousness, "let's visit Earth."

Loki grimaced and thought of the humans who ran around like vermin during his attempted coup a few years back. "Uh, no thanks," said Loki. "I'll see you off though."

"I want to see my friends before we are bound to Asgard," he said. "And tell them my absence will be because I'm on a mission and that I'm not deliberately missing their fights, because I love those."

"Why exactly would I join you?" scoffed Loki. "Your friends hate me. I nearly killed them."

"Yeah," agreed Thor. "They do and you did. But join me anyway. It's not like you'll be busy-- what exactly do you do, anyway, when you're not casting hexes on innocent people and toiling in the corner?"

"Hey!" Loki bristled, but does not budge, planting his feet firmly on the ground.

Heimdall watched this exchange without saying a word, and Thor noticed. "Shouldn't my brother accompany me?" he spoke to the Gatekeeper. "Come on; let's go. Think of it as some bonding time."

Loki glanced over at Heimdall, who only stared back at him, but his gaze is too difficult to decipher. Maybe it is a trick of the light, but the Gatekeeper appears to be almost egging him on; _coaxing_ him to give in, just by the thoughtful glowing glance he sent.

"Fine," he muttered.

Loki should have never stepped into the shimmering vortex.

It is daytime on Earth, and they have landed in the middle of nowhere. It is drizzling.

"Ugh," said Thor, who sat his hammer down, took his red cape that dragged against the damp soil into his hands and wrung it. "I just got this cleaned yesterday."

Loki glanced about, nose wrinkled. "Where are we?"

"America, I hope," said Thor. "I need to get to New York City."

"And I'm supposed to just... come with?"

"Would you rather stay out here?" said Thor, spreading his arms out wide, gesturing wildly. "Because I'm happy to oblige, if that's what you really want."

"How long do you plan to stay?"

"Just a night or two-- we don't have much time anyway." Thor shrugged. "Maybe a week. Or a month--"

Loki shivered at the thought of this. "No! No. I am not staying on this horrendous planet that long. If we do not return in the next twenty-four hours, I am leaving without you--"

"We literally _just_ arrived, brother."

"And I already feel repulsed! I can't help it," said Loki.

"If you're going to complain this much," Thor said irritably. "Then just go ahead and return."

"Thank you for finally seeing the fault in your ways," said Loki.

"Quit being such a dweeb," said Thor, adding, "I've always hated it when Mother asked me to bring you whenever I hung out with my friends, by the way."

"Mother never asked you-- you dragged me along anyways, what the hell are you talking about?" snapped Loki.

"Anyway... Heimdall," called Thor. "Bring him back!"

But no spinning rainbow came to collect them from the dreary, feral deserts of Earth.

"Heimdall, you _will_ answer!" said Loki. Still, nothing shifted in the clouds above them. For perhaps the rules of the universe heavily outweighed the commands of two princes from a tiny, (yet majestic) realm.

 _This was a punishment,_ thought Loki instead, for not abiding to Asgard's laws. Against all better judgement, there was a striking thought that this was not Heimdall's doing.

"Oh no," said Thor simply. He did not sound particularly glum, however. "Let's hope he'll answer tomorrow," said Thor, and wiped the rainwater out of his eyes.

"Tomorrow?" Anger began to simmer in the pit of Loki's stomach and he confronted his brother. "You," Loki said, "you've trapped us on Earth, you buffoon." Panic began to lace itself in his tone, and whether his brother noticed or not was unknown for he says nothing.

"It's fine," said Thor, "I'm a celebrity here. People adore me. I'll let everyone know you mean no harm in the meantime."

"I'm sure they'll be persuaded," said Loki. The cold has begun to seep between the cracks and seams of his clothing, only frustrating him further.

"Well," said Thor. "It's raining. I better get going." He began to spin his hammer by the leather strap in a wide, circular motion.

"Wait!" said Loki. "What about me?"

Thor just looked at him. "What about you?"

"You can't just leave me out here in some meadow," sputtered Loki with petulance. The soil beneath their boots was pungent and smelled of cattle defecation. There were no cattle in sight, however.

"Well, what would you like me to do? Carry you on my back?"

"Bring me to the nearest city, at the very least."

"Don't cause any mayhem," warned Thor. 

"Just know that it's your fault you brought me down here," said Loki matter-of-factly. Against the rules of Asgard, he felt himself shrink into a more comfortable size. _Apologies, Heimdall._ Thor eyed him among the grass, not amused in the slightest.

"Really, brother?" said Thor, but extended his arm towards Loki. "You're not supposed to be doing that either."

Loki the garter snake only stuck out his tongue in response. If his snake vocal cords were articulate enough, he would have replied, _then why are you using your hammer to fly?_

Fortunately, Thor understood this response, verbal or not. He snorted. "You don't really expect me to _walk_ in this weather, do you?"

To their luck, it began to pour. The combination of rainfall and harsh winds whipping Loki in the face made him want to die.

Loki felt his scaly body begin to slide off Thor's cape. Loki wanted to shout, but no words could escape, only a low hiss that was swallowed up by the downpour all around them. _Slow down!_ he wished to yell to his brother who was going at an incredible speeds, headfirst into the gloominess. He sank his fangs into the filthy, damp cape to keep from falling but immediately drew back. The fabric tasted foul.

His body was loosening up out of fatigue, and he wondered what would happen if he suddenly transformed back into his regular form. He didn't have enough time to think about that because rather large droplets fell into his dewy eyes and he jerked his snake head away sharply. This proved to be a bad move.

 _Oh, fuck,_ he thought. The air whipped all around him and it all went by too fast for him to do something about it. And for the second time in his life, he let himself fall.

\--

He awakes on the floor of a barn, with hay in his mouth and in his regular form. The air is thick with dust and gasoline, and as he stumbles up from the ground, does his best to hack up all the grime that he might've ingested. Loki of Asgard feels rightfully violated. 

With his hands on his knees, he pants, attempting to recall yesterday but the events only bring back more vexation to his current mood. No doubt Thor only realized his absence when he'd landed. _If_ he'd even landed yet, for who knew how far New York City was from this barren wasteland? 

Loki needs to find an exit. Fast. He looks about the dim barn, the only faint light streaming through came from the small windows high on the walls. Two tractors were parked behind him and along the walls were benches and tools. The ground was littered with hay and soil, and Loki resists the urge to retch again.

This was just about the worst. He'd _slept_ on all that. Loki is going to throttle Thor the next time he sees him.

Another problem was his clothing. It wasn't sopping wet as he'd remembered, but still disgustingly damp. To his alarm, he was also sweating at the collar. Was it really that warm? As he takes off his cloak, he groans at the mud smeared backside. Clearing his throat, he shuts his eyes and focuses his attention onto his clothing, hoping to change into his Midgardian wear. But when he opens his eyes again, he's still in his stained garb. 

Loki clenches his jaw, and tries again. These were juvenile spells, and somehow, they weren't working properly. Perhaps his brain was still foggy from the fall. Even worse, it was possible this was the doing of the alignment. None of this was making any sense.

The facts were these: at some point yesterday night during the downpour, he had slipped from his brother's shoulders and spiraled down approximately two thousand feet before hitting the ground. He'd passed out sometime during the free fall, but all in all, when he awoke, he was under a roof.

In the middle of his mulling, the small side door of the barn opens and startles Loki. He immediately whirls around at the intruder, snarling. "You. How dare you force me to lie down in some filth for your own pleasure?"

The intruder is dressed in washed out jeans and a simple t-shirt from what he can see. "Oh!" is the first thing they say. "Oh my God. Okay. I thought you were dead."

Loki stares at them curiously. This was not the reaction he'd expected. Maybe it was because he was unarmed and currently gagging up dirt, the human didn't feel in danger. "Tell me now," he says in the most princely tone he can muster at the moment, "how far am I from the city of New York?"

"NYC?" says the human. "That's way up northeast."

"Take me there."

"Me?" says the human, and Loki narrows his eyes. Yes, them. Who else would he be talking to? "I'm sorry, I-- I... em..." They trail off.

"What?" says Loki impatiently.

"I don't have a car or anything here."

Loki's eyes shift towards the large mobiles in the barn, and the human grimaces.

"Those tractors won't cover that much land, but-- but if you take the main road fifty miles east, you'll get to the closest town around here, and then you can take a bus to the city--"

"How long will that take?" 

"Walking? A few weeks."

No! This was the worst possible outcome that could be happening. He knits his brows, and walks up the steps towards the human, who takes nimble steps back. He steps into what appears to be the main house, and he breathes deeply. The stench in the barn had permeated so deeply that this less stifling hair felt liberating. He stood there, sweeping his gaze all across the living room, and thought deeply, disregarding the farmer human entirely. If he couldn't even get his clothing cleaned, teleportation undoubtedly would fail.

His gaze finds itself looking out the windows. It was still fairly dark out, so it couldn't of had been very long at all since he fell from his brother's shoulders and into a pasture.

Well, there's no point in wasting even more time. Without a single word he edges towards the front door, fingers fumbling with the rusty lock. He'd take the human with him to do his bidding, but without his scepter or any credible advantage over them, it was futile. _Be grateful,_ he thinks, _that I have graced your life with my presence._

"Wait," says the human out of the blue. Loki pauses in his movements, but does not turn his gaze onto the individual. "This isn't my place, but the couple who do-- they have a car. When they return, I'm sure they'll let you use it."

That's not a terrible idea. Loki's not too fond on the idea of walking fifteen straight hours just to walk some more, and so says, "When will they get back?"

"Monday," they say, "today's Friday."

Three days? Three whole days of hanging around a musty farm in the middle of nowhere?

Maybe it's for the best. In his head, Loki visualizes Thor's state of worry over him. Yes, make him suffer. Maybe Loki will stake out on the low for three days before departing. He turns, his cloak swishing behind him, and sneers at them. "Don't play coy with me, I know what you're doing."

They just return the gaze, albeit more wide eyed. "What?"

"Why help me? You clearly know who I am."

"I do, and," they say stiffly, "there's a multitude of reasons, really."

"You're planning on contacting your Avengers, aren't you? S.H.I.E.L.D, possibly? My dear, I'm afraid that's not happening." He takes a wide step closer, and he can see the familiar nervous gleam in their bright eyes.

"Yes," admits the human suddenly, and clamps a hand over their mouth.

Loki's brows raise. "Honest, aren't you?"

"Yes," they say again, and then freeze up. "No, that's not what I meant!"

What was wrong with this person? Loki stays silent, taking a solid once over of the human.

"Don't hurt me," they squeak, and Loki just rolls his eyes and pulls away.

"Right," he mutters. All humans were the same. Pitiable, vulnerable creatures. Sad, really. "So you were the one who brought me here."

They nodded.

"Then," he says loudly, "for the next three days, you are to serve me, understood? Your reward will be that I don't kill you." Loki doesn't plan to murder this individual though-- it just seemed to be a waste of time and energy at this point in time. Maybe if Heimdall wasn't so peeved with him and the stars were in their typical disarrayed fashion, he might take this human as his personal servant. Maybe.

There's a strange, defiant flicker that passes across their countenance, but it vanishes as quickly as it came. "I understand," they say with uneasiness. 

"And one more thing," hums the god, "what's nearby? Any neighbors, inns?"

They are silent, and that piques his attention. "Well?" he prompts.

"Nothing," they say with deliberation.

"Fantastic," he said. And he meant it.

When they turn to leave, he calls out. "Where are you going?" he asks, his eyes narrowing down into (what he hoped to be) a menacing glare. "Don't think you can go call for help."

"I have to feed the sheep," they say, in a small voice. 

Oh.

**Author's Note:**

> this will be very short: w just two parts!! i just wanted to take a break from tptsg [(wink)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13384860) to write yet ANOTHER loki fic  
> lmk how you feel about this fic and thanks for reading! :--)


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